Google TiSP (Beta) Free Broadband Service

Are you in an area where getting Broadband (or any) Internet service is a pain? Stuck with one provider who rates are going up faster than the price of a gallon of gasoline? You can get free, yes free Broadband Internet Service from Goggle. Best of all you need is a toilet. Here is the press-release on the new Google TiSP (Toilet Internet Service Provider) Service (Beta):

Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service

“Dark porcelain” project offers self-installed plumbing-based Internet access

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif., April 1, 2007 – Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced the launch of Google TiSP (BETA)™, a free in-home wireless broadband service that delivers online connectivity via users’ plumbing systems. The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system.

“We’ve got that whole organizing-the-world’s-information thing more or less under control,” said Google Co-founder and President Larry Page, a longtime supporter of so-called “dark porcelain” research and development. “What’s interesting, though, is how many different modalities there are for actually getting that information to you – not to mention from you.”

So how does it work?

Google TiSP (BETA) is a fully functional, end-to-end system that provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines.

Again this is a free service with personalized ads (see below). Here is more info from the Google TiSP FAQs:

How can Google offer this service for free?
We believe that all users deserve free, fast and sanitary online access. To offset the cost of providing the TiSP service, we use information gathered by discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward. Google also offers premium levels of service for a monthly fee (see below).

Note: We take your privacy very seriously. So we treat all TiSP users’ waste-related personal information with tremendous discretion, in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

Is this offering a tiered service? How does Google’s position on Net Neutrality effect TiSP?
Although we understand that there’s a lot of crap on the web, we also believe strongly in providing equal opportunity access to all our users. While we won’t limit your surfing choices, we do offer three levels of TiSP service:

  Trickle The #2 Royal Flush
Download speed (max) 8 Mbps
(10X basic DSL)
16 Mbps
(20X basic DSL)
32 Mbps
(40X basic DSL)
Upload speed (max) 2 Mbps 4 Mbps 8 Mbps
Price Free $9.95/mo. $24.95/mo.
  Actual speeds will vary, depending on network traffic and sewer line conditions. Users with low-flow toilets may simultaneously experience a saving-the-environment glow and slower-data-speed blues

Be sure to check out the Google TiSP Group for more information and real end-user feedback. Oh and one more thing…if you buy this and the Gmail Paper (Beta), “I got some ocean front property in Arizona.” Once again the folks at Google have managed to pull of a couple great April Fools Jokes!

Source: CyberNet News

21 Comments on Google TiSP (Beta) Free Broadband Service

  1. im in srilanka and how can i order the new tisp from google

  2. Paul McNamara | April 1, 2007 at 10:24 AM |

    Sounds like a great deal. … Too bad TiSP is a blatant rip-off of DSL technology I introduced a decade ago. Geesh.
    http://www.networkworld.com/community/?q=node/13240

  3. ITS A JOKE MAN, its april fools day foolss

  4. @Paul, good luck finding a lawyer who is going to take on Google!

  5. Funny …hahaha

  6. Hah! The yellow gloves were a nice touch. Happy April’s “I can’t Believe I Fooled People With This One” day!

  7. Commode-based TiSP! Heh heh!

  8. It’s an April Fools prank! Yeesh, I even wrote a whole post about it on my blog.

  9. At first I thought this might explain Google’s recent purchases of mobile dark fiber. Afterall, they would need the fiber to support all the bandwidth for the high speed internet connection they are offering. But then I looked at the date!

    High Speed Internet Access and Broadband Provider offers information on broadband services via DSL or T1 high speed internet connections.

  10. Lol, yeah like the year they said that their new service would make typing searches obsolete, google would be able to read the surfers mind…..ha,ha,ha…….

    I jumped right on this one….great job googlers!
    http://www.30daze.blogspot.com/

  11. I love google and glad to see it has a sense of humor

  12. I would simply wish that its not a 1st April’s prank !!

    Sounds like an exceptional idea, a little expensive for google but they can afford such things. GR8 if its true !!

  13. LOL! best April Fools Joke I’ve read on WordPress so far!

    ~EK

  14. Very nice April Fools’ Joke! I even made an installation video for Google TiSP:

  15. Are you serious?

  16. It’s a joke, people. GMail did one as well.

  17. This was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FUNNY! The funnier part of it was that I was actually trying to figure out how to order it for the first few minutes. Then I finally figured out that it was an April fool’s joke. I was totally caught off guard. I was like YAY I’m going to get free DSL service through google! This was soooo funny. I’m glad that I got a good laugh out of it.

  18. WileEPeyote | April 10, 2007 at 8:03 PM |

    I waiting for the version to tell people who have septic tanks how to get in on the deal and make it “True Wireless!”

  19. That is a funny article. I thought it was real at first. http://nationwide-dsl.com

  20. I have found that this works on septic tanks also. You must ask for the wireless package folks. It is easy to get. Just call and ask to talk to either Larry Page or Eric Schmidt. They are part of the Connectivity Engineering Outlet group (C E O Grp). Their direct contact number in customer service is (650)330-0100. Other contact information to them is fax: (650)618-1499. You may want to postal mail them at address:
    1600 Amphitheatre Pkwy
    Mountain View, CA 94043-1351

    Please include extra stamps in order for the postage to arrive faster.

    Make sure you mention that you were refered by John Long and you will get an additional 5 MB/s free.

    This is revolutionary and ground breaking folks. You would not believe the kind of stuff my kids are down loading now. They are also doing live chat with people they do not even know in just a matter of minutes after the connection was hooked up. This is all amazing. Check us out on icq at onefloatytooty@google.com.

5 Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. GMail Three Years Later « Firefox Extension Guru’s Blog
  2. Now this is funny « bipolar chicks blogging
  3. April Fool From Google-Google TISP-Free Toilet ISP Broadband Connection « TARGETLIFE-COMPUTECH TRICKS
  4. notes & digressions » links for 2007-04-03
  5. Blog Year in Review: April 2007 « Firefox Extension Guru’s Blog

Comments are closed.